It could only happen for love

For a long time now we have been told that if men had to have babies, none would ever be born. This is essentially true.

While I have walked (both with and without the 'aid' of crutches) with:
- broken toes -- I actually played 1/2 a football season with two broken toes
- torn leg muscles (it was the center of my right calf and yes, when you can feel the sides of the torn section rub against each other, it is safe to claim that it was more than a pulled muscle)
- and screwed up ankle tendons (the doc said it would have been better to break the ankle--turns out he was right) :

I would never ever voluntarily ask to be pregnant. Thank God for women!!
I also am more that happy to skip that wonderful procedure called the 'Pap Smear'. The wife sometimes likes to put me in my place by reminding me that for her, this is a regularly scheduled procedure. It is her way of saying there is no sympathy forthcoming...

But guys there is one procedure (and I would only suggest this as viable if you can find no other way to prove your eternal love and devotion) that you can volunteer for to prove your love to that special woman.
I found out about it after I proposed to the wife. Having gone through my early 20's trying to be a poor man's Don Juan, I felt that some things needed to be confirmed (no matter how much I 'knew' it to be true). SO I went and took the STD test.

For those who never had this, it is where the medical practitioner (in my case a woman, and she had to be holding a grudge against someone. Lucky me!) jams a pine tree (ok, ok it was a verrry long Q-tip) deeeeeeep into the man's...let's just say that I really, really, really did not feel like peeing for a long time after!!

However, it turns out that I was right and we had no worries...Well, I wondered if the 'helmeted hermit' would ever feel well enough to take up his duties again.

So ladies, if you ever want your man to confirm his love, don't ask for diamonds, don't ask for flowers, just ask him to prove his love with one little test...