We're just waiting for our imps to be 'discovered'

Every year for the past 6 years we have been waiting for that Hollywood producer to knock on our door with the fat contract and extra Oscar or two...

Let's face facts here. The wife and I both agree that our kids are 'hooked' on drama like crackheads are hooked on their drugs. No intervention now will be successful.

We lost g.imp at about 6 months:

Yes even before g.imp could move around or even sit up on her own, she was honing her acting skills. One evening she was cooing and burbling at the Wife's feet (usually my position but let's not go there yet...), when the wife noticed g.imp had her hands in the air and was making those insistent baby sounds that mean 'Hug me! Kiss me! Come on already, Pick me up and give me some lovin, dammit!!'
(I am sure everyone remembers being given that look by their own imps...)

So the wife picks g.imp up and proceeds to hug and kiss the girl (as well as sniff the 'baby scent' off of the top of her head. This I do not get. Never have never will. But if I could bottle actual 'baby scent' Bill Gates would not be the richest man in America).

G.imp responded with the 'one-arm' hug with her other hand reaching behind for t.v. remote! Remember folks this was at 6-months..!

At three years old she was hanging off the side of a shopping cart (no we did not permit this. She just jumped on the side) while we were in the check-out line and then promptly slid off, scraping her chin. Tears and wailing ensued, making us the center of attention at the busiest hub in the store. Wonderful!!

g.imp sniffles and cries then gathers in a deep breath and wails, "I want...I want...I want to go to Bisney World!!"

And just last year g.imp came flying around the corner of our stairs and just missed colliding with the wall. You did catch the part about not hitting the wall?

Tears, wailing total crying jag ensues. Her reason for the drama? "I almost hit my elbow on the wall!!"

Send in that OSCAR!!

b.imp on the other hand has mastered the 'save me anybody these people beat me with thorn bush' type crying jags. I mean he reaaally takes pride in his work. If he thinks he is not getting the attention his effort deserves, he does not give up. He works even harder (sic: Louder).

'If at first you don't succeed...' is going to be his life's motto. However it is possible to have a conversation with him during one of his fits...

b.imp: (wailing screaming tearing of hair--you know--real Old Testament crying)
me: It's bedtime, we have to lie down now.
b.imp: (see above)
me: Ok, do you want me to read another book?
b.imp: (wailing continues) I want Animal Babies!
me: Not Dr. Suess? (I live for Fox in Socks and A Fly Went By)
b.imp: No, Animal Babies (note, crying is stopped)
me: ok, which ones?
b.imp: th..the tiger an..and th..the elephant!
me: tiger and elephant, right?
b.imp: uhuh
me: ok...tiger aaaand elephant. Here we go.

(note there has been no crying from the time he selected the books until I sit on the bed next to b.imp with the books in hand)

b.imp: (wailing ensues)
me: (WTF???) Which one should I read first?
b.imp: wail/cry/scream---the tiger--wail/cry/scream

Now interchange this type of conversation for topic including, short pants v. long pants, water v. milk, mom brushing b.imp's teeth v. dad brushing b.imp's teeth etc...etc...etc...

Oscars all around folks!

Please hold the drama!!