J's Mommy at anothermommymoment.blogspot.com had an interesting post about how coddling our society has come. Personally I think she only experienced the tip of the iceberg!
Coddling the kids has become mind-boggling/numbing where we live . The following examples actually occurred:
1- during my student teaching phase, I was told not to grade any lower than a 'C' because the students would stop trying. This was a college-prep English course!!
2- youth-league, athletic teams are not allowed to learn how to lose (therefore how to overcome adversity). At the end of each season everyone gets a trophy! I might be a godsforsaken, knuckle-dragging, Neanderthal but giving trophies to kids for losing like champions is not going to make the season any sweeter in their memories. A trip to the local ice-cream parlor on the other hand is (and was) better appreciated.
3- This year we had 20 (count them now) TWENTY!! Valedictorians graduate from our high school and all but 3, ALL BUT THREE!! had greater than a 4.0 GPA!
?????????WTF????????
Because of this and other incidents like them, I truly believe our kids are not being taught how to make/and then learn from their mistakes. I truly believe that our kids are being encouraged to not reach for that goal that might not be attainable (on the first, second or even third attempt) because they know it does not matter.
My own daughter has learned not risk anything new (unless being threatened/bullied by her uncaring parents). Why? Because if she does not try or fails, Hey! it's OK.
No risk, same reward!!
So, being the proactive dad that I am, the g.imp is currently enrolled in summer acting classes.
(there will be future blogs why we have a future Oscar winner)
I realize that I am going to, potentially, be the poster boy of bad parenting here, but I seriously believe that if my kids got passing grades and I could prove they literally made no effort, I would go to the school and demand they lower the grades to the appropriate level!
We want them to get involved with sports and learn what it is like to fail, no matter how hard they might try.
The key point is that 2nd place should not be rewarded like 1st place and that losing actually sucks!
They need to learn this so that they can overcome adversity later in life. No business out there, that I know of, wants to put the time in to teach these lessons to their prospective employees. They simply have too much to lose if they are risking their future viability on employees that do not know how to turn adversity into success!
These lessons need to be learned now!
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4 comments:
Your post struck a chord as I think about this often. Our society goes overboard coddling our children - hell, in my opinion, we even coddle our criminals - but don't get me started on that subject!
I, like you, plan on teaching my son that sometimes we win and sometimes we lose - and I don't plan on rewarding him for losing. Support, yes. Understanding, yes. Reward, no.
Thanks for the post!
Nice post Dennis.
I agree that society as a whole tends to coddling almost everyone. It's like we are fearful of hurting someone. Don't get me wrong I don't believe that a person should be mean spirted and spiteful just because they can but there's a big difference in that and giving constructive critisim.
How is anyone (kid or adult) supposed to learn and grow if they are never told what they have done wrong? I don't think they can.
You mentioned Little League...my hubby and I are great advocates of giving the kids an 'A' for their effort but that's also tempered with telling them how they can improve on perhaps what they had done wrong in the game...whether that be with their batting stance or getting in front of a ground ball rather than letting it roll by them. It's an instructional league so I say instruct.
As for the trohpy issue. Our league does do trophies for all the players but it's done to show their participation not whether they win or lose. And honestly to see a little 5 year old Tee Baller getting his trophy with a smile on his face a mile wide it does warm this mama's heart.
I dunno. I still might prefer the ice cream route, however the b.imp has not yet reached the tee ball stage. But it is not far off so I will see if the experience changes my belief...??
I'm with you on this topic. No risk, same reward - excellent summation.
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