More about the particulars

For those not 'In the Know,' which I sincerely hope takes in everyone currently reading this, this is my second go at blogging. In my first attempt, I was more of an angry 'I cannot believe my family is treating me this way...Where is the damn support??'

So this time when we cut back our hours (again. We really, truly want to be a 1 income family and I would need to rob several banks per year to match the better 1/2's annual income) I was not surprised when grandpap busted out the 'so you're going back to babysitting again?'

Dad was born in a different generation when men were men and women did all the clean-up work at family gatherings. He apparently holds similar hopes for his sons (and daughters??).

So with granddad offering up his opinions, one might think that we would try not to conversate with this man.

Wrong! While topics to avoid with dad include, lifestyle, politics, religion, health, career and/or education, he is still a highly educated, funny person.

Example:

when he was younger my brother had a car accident where the car went airborne and struck a tree. My brother bounced around the car and ended up in the ER with a nasty head wound. When my dad arrived they were about to shave my brother's head and stitch him up.
Dad's only comment?

"Can you shave 'buckle up, dumbass' on the other side?"

Ok, we are a weird family and I am blessed that my wife puts up with me. But let us look at the elder brother, shall we?

Our little sibling (remember the hero of our car accident story above?) is living at the old sib's house while attending school. The sister-in-law has decided that life would be more bearable without the extra boarder. So in an effort to smooth things over, the eldest brother called a family meeting.

(prior to expounding on this meeting let me just add that sis-in-law is an extrovert and baby bro is almost militantly introverted. For a good visual mix oil and water and you might understand how well things are going. Add gasoline and match if you want to add our eldest sib)

Issues at the moment are:
1 - not enough communication. Hell, little bro is not even married yet and this is STILL a major problem?? He may never walk down the aisle.

2 - late night dishes left stacked neatly in the sink. In his defense, he was instructed by the 'king of the palace' not to do the dishes. Not that it helped him in the end...

3 - not enough communication. How does one force and introvert to act like an extrovert?

So where is this long, lengthy and boring post leading?

Big bro opens his family meeting with:

So, we are here today because there are some serious issues that need to be resolved. Little bro, the wife is upset because you have not spent enough time outside painting the trim around the house.'

(quick flash to the other participants' expressions: Little Bro - WTF??? Sis-in-Law - WTF??)

Elder bro to wife: and honey, if you have a big problem with little bro's talking, just tell him to stick a sock in his mouth.

(quick flash to the other participants' expressions: Little Bro - WTF?? You ass!! Sis-in-Law - WTF?? You ass!!)

Elder bro to wife (much later in the conversation): Ok honey, I have heard enough whining around here...So I guess I will shut up now.


You simply cannot buy tickets to entertainment this funny!! and to think, I have ringside seats!!