The Imps are at it again!

While enjoying the sunshine today and reveling in the fact that Nature was where it belonged -- outside of my house -- g.imp and n.imp were playing near one of the trees next to our house, using g.imp's toy scissors to cut grass blades. I then heard the following:

g.imp: look, I cut one of its legs in half!
n.imp: what was it?
g.imp: a daddy long-legs.

Whoa Nelly! Daddy on the move!

I immediately relieved g.imp of the scissors and sent her inside. After sending n.imp home, I gathered b.imp up (he was chewing on leaves or eating dirt or something. Whatever-- it was quiet) and rushed inside to discipline our darling little bug killer.

The confrontation:

Me: what did you just cut?
g.imp: a spider
(knowing I am about to drop the boom on her, g.imp looked surprisingly, well, pissed at me)
me: We don't go around killing things!
(well, not since that particular joy was taken away from daddy during his college years. After meeting mommy, daddy had to give up killing roaches with aerosol cans and matches...)
g.imp: but I hate spiders!

Yep, that's daddy's little girl. If you know you are already in trouble, jump in with both feet!

Fast forward a few hours.

The Light of My Life arrives home with a desire to take g.imp shopping for a new bathing suit because g.imp starts swim lessons next week!!

So they find some swimwear that is:
a) not a skimpy bikini
b) manages to cover most of g.imp's body
(I can barely believe it. It takes over two hours and a minor miracle to find a bathing suit for a child that does not scream 'SkanK!')

So after finding some suitable options the Better 1/2 takes the imps to the dressing room.
(The dressing room has little cubicles that have actual doors and one cubicle that only has a curtain. At this juncture I would like to say that our grass was at least 8 inches high and I really, really did have to mow the lawn tonight)

The wife passes the curtained cubicle (the curtain was shut) in favor of a room with a door. G.imp Could not pass it by that easily and whipped the curtain open revealing a woman in the midst of -- well she was not wholly covered.

As the wife is 'stroking out' she manages to close the curtain and hustle g.imp into one of the open cubicles. On his way past, b.imp chooses yet another inappropriate moment to emulate his older sister and once more pulls open the curtain.

Poor, Poor woman. However the Better 1/2 had time to recover while choosing the appropriate bathing suit for g.imp. So on the way out she was feeling quite normal and happy with her choice until she heard the sound of a curtain being jerked open, accompanied by the b.imp's following announcement:

"I want to see the naked lady!"

Yep, that's my boy!!